But being pretty can convince them they do.
I decided to take this weekend off to just lay around in the sun, work in my garden, and be happy being alone.
Of course I had to do something productive with the time, so I was looking into medical tourism. I actually feel kind of like an asshole, because most of the stuff that comes up is like, for cancer patients who can't afford treatment in the USA. Jesus what is wrong with us that this service needs to exist?
But of course I was looking at something much more shallow, because that's who I am. Cosmetic procedures.
Full tummy tuck and lipo across the lower body = 5k (hospital stay included) Sun spots/freckles/moles= about $100 each (less if you do more at once)
I'm so weird about sunspots and moles. I have no intention of staying out of the sun. I'd rather get surgery, start fresh, and just do it all over again in 10 years. However, now that I'm an "adult" with a 9-5 I don't think I'll have the same sun exposure I used to. So regardless of my intentions, the results will probably stick for awhile.
The funniest part though, is that I won't remove what's probably my worst/most noticeable freckle/mole/whatever. (Where do you even draw the line between mole and freckle? It's a little bit raised but...) Anyway. It's right on my nose! And for some reason, I feel attached to it. The doctor is going to think I'm insane, and he's probably right. But I've had my nose freckle since before I can remember. My parents used to tease me about it (kindly) and it's just always been....me. It's the one bit (other than bone structure etc) that I really feel defines me as a person.
This whole struggle is about whether I define my body or my body defines me, but I don't battle certain things. I look how I look to a certain extent. I guess you could say that ALL my spots define me, but the others arrived later, after I was already a person. They're just ugly marks that I cursed from the day they showed up. My nose is ME.
The other thing I was looking into this weekend was seasonal rentals in these same countries. For med tourism and this, I'm talking about Thailand probably. Thailand or Vietnam.
Anyway, seasonal rentals are also cheap cheap cheap. Hilariously, the problem that I have with most of them is that there is "staff" to help you out. I want to be totally alone. I know a staff person would probably not bug me, and only come if I phoned them, but I hate feeling like I'm in someone else's place, even when I am. I want to feel alone, peaceful, not dependent on anyone. Not like I'm inconveniencing the real owner by being there.
But anyway. What I was thinking of was a sort of DIY fat camp, if you can believe it. This of course all rests on the idea that I'll line up a job with Americorps before I get home. If I don't have a job and place to stay, all this goes down the toilet and I'll be pinching every inflated yen (fucking currency rates) to stay afloat. Well, I could move back in with my folks, but I might actually kill them if that happened.
If I DO line up this sweet sweet job (sarcasm, the core pays 12k/year- I'd be doing it for the love of humanity) I can make it rain yen on whatever I want to do. And frankly what I want to do is lose weight, be pretty, and lay on a beach.
I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I don't need a tummy tuck. Depending on how much weight I can lose by then, I either want lipo all over, or possibly just a meso treatment. There's no scars with meso - it just kills the cells and your body digests them basically. If I could make it to that point, that would be ideal, but you can't "lose weight" with meso like you can with lipo. (I know you aren't supposed to use it like that, but 6-8lbs is significant) So we'll see.
Right now I'm assuming that, according to current trends, I'll continue being an undisciplined lard butt, and need lipo everywhere and the whole package. About 6k in surgery and hospital stays.
~~~~PLAN~~~
1. touch down in SE Asia somewhere ($400 plane tix)
2. shamelessly try to get Vyvanse or similar (prescriptions aren't as big a deal there)(~$50)
3. retreat to my little paradise on the ocean and binge on sunshine and addy meds for a few weeks ($1000)
4. when I'm relaxed, skinny, and tan, go in for cosmetics ($5000)
Cosmetics cost based on no tummy tuck, but full lipo plus sunspot removal.
I need about 7,000 for this plan to work, which is totally doable in the time that's left.
Thinking about money makes me super motivated to work. And thinking about spending it on weight loss makes me super motivated to diet instead.
It's gonna be a productive week.
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